Posted in cancer, faith, friend, God, Grace, gratitude, hapiness, healing, heart, help, Love, prayer, soul, Thanksgiving

Living From the Heart

Living from the heart.  What does this mean?  Another expression “living wholeheartedly.”  I love Brene Brown, she has done several great works on this subject of living wholeheartedly and authentically.  But what does it look like, this wholehearted living?

I will try to flesh this out in the way that I have been working on.  The Word courage actually has at the root of it “Heart”.  Middle English (denoting the heart, as the seat of feelings): from Old French corage, from Latin cor ‘heart.’  So we know that courage takes heart.  It has meant for me to moving forward despite the way I am feeling.  Courage does not mean that I am not afraid but that I continue on my path despite my fears.

The bible tells us that “perfect love casts out fear” 1John 4;18.  So, it is impossible to experience love when we are in a state of fear.  Courage is an act of faith, to move forward despite our fears.  It takes courage and faith to believe you are not dying of cancer when the doctors tell you that you have six months to live.

Much of this courage begins with thought and intention.  Humans are the only created being that have the ability to observe thought.  That means we can think about what we are thinking about.  We also have the ability to police those thoughts.

When I was first told I had six months to live, I sat one day and made a list of every negative, fatalistic thought that I had.  I memorized it and place it before myself so any time I had one of those thoughts, I recognized it and chased it from my mind.  I replaced it with prayers and healing intentions for myself.  This went on hundreds of times a day, in the beginning.  In time, I found I had less and less of those thoughts to chase.

I spend nearly a half and hour a day when I am in a dreamy state before I get up and and I do my work.  My true work.  I pray and meditate on my good health and healing intentions for my body.  I chase fear, I invite in love and light and express extreme gratitude for another day.  This time I spend is extremely important and it helps me to be fortified from within before I begin my day.  I am not in a particular position but I do practice breathing and listening to my breath.

In this state I envision and experience health with my thoughts and my emotions.  I express my gratitude for the simplest things: my body, my mind, my family, my husband, children, food, shelter.  I ask for nothing just gratitude for what I have.  I experience joy and contentment.  Here and now.

Living from the heart is rare.  People often say I am brave, if that means being authentic and genuine then yes, I am brave.  I guess I put a lot “out there” and express openly what others would not.  At times it does feel risky but it is mostly out of an attempt to help  someone who may be in a dark and fearful place.  To give them hope and potentially show them a way out.  I have been in dark places myself and I know how scary it can be to be alone with bad thoughts and intentions towards myself.  I spent many years there.  But those years have given me much compassion and understanding.

Living from the heart is healthy.  I believe it is what we were created to do.  To experience love and express love freely.  It is mainly negative experiences that cause us to wall ourselves off.  And with some folks who have proven themselves to be untrustworthy with our hearts, it is right to do.  I was not created to be anyone’s doormat.  Neither were you.  But I was created to be a welcome mat and there is a HUGE difference!!

I will share one of my favorite talks here:

 

Posted in cancer, God, gratitude, hapiness, Post Cancer, Survival, Thanksgiving, volunteerism

New Year and a New Adventure

As 2013 dawns, I embark on a new and exciting adventure. For the past nearly 3 years, I have worked at SCB Marketing and love it. I interviewed and got the job within weeks of finishing my cancer treatment. Jeff and Josh hired me in 2010 and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to serve Brevard County in such a positive way. I have absolutely loved the work and the people.
Within the past year, it has become apparent to me and nearly everyone around me that I have a real fire in my belly to serve the cancer community. I have found my true passion is in that arena. I love making a difference for people who are facing one of life’s greatest challenges. It does not matter whether I am facilitating a support group or speaking and raising money, it all is incredibly gratifying and something I must do.
Within the next month I will be transitioning from SCB to assume my new position as Marketing & Communication Director for Space Coast Cancer Center and Space Coast Cancer Foundation and I could not be more thrilled.
I will be working with one of my personal heroes Dr. Richard Levine and his partners. We will be working on initiatives to improve the quality of care and resources for cancer patients.
I covet your prayers and support as I assume this new role. And I would be remiss if I did not publicly thank God for this wonderful opportunity. God is good all the time!! WOW!!!!

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Posted in faith, gratitude, hapiness, Thanksgiving

My Jubilee Year…….reflecting on my 50th year :)

As I stand on the precipice of my 51st year, I am taking time to reflect on this past year of my life.  I have a dear friend named Tommy who spoke prophetically to me as I was turning 50.  Tommy declared that this year was my Jubilee YEAR, he said that this would be a year of restoration.  He spoke that everything that cancer had removed would be restored by God……..only BETTER!!

The Jews were commanded by God to observe a Jubilee Year, every 50 years.  It was when any Israelite that was a slave was set free.  Debts were forgiven and slaves returned to their homes and clans.  The harvest was collected and the ground rested.  It is where the concept of the Sabbatical year comes from.

So I began my 50th year with a wonderful party.  I was surrounded by 75 people whom I know and love.  Family came from Maryland, we rented a room and kicked off my next 50 years!!  I had music, great food and I even sang with some of my chorus ladies.  We had a photobooth there and everyone had a lot of FUN!!!

So I rejoiced at the privilege of greeting my 50th year…………. 🙂  Not everyone gets to do that, you know?  So here is my Jubilee year in review, it’s been great!!

  • I started to facilitate a BC Support at SCCC to help other BC survivors.  We are up to 20 attendees and in Feb we will start on in Viera as well
  • By April 2011, I became a full time employee of SCB Marketing (no longer an independent contractor).
  • By June I had Merrill living with me (answering a 6 year prayer)
  • By July, I had health insurance (that is huge for me)
  • In August I was asked to be the survivor coordinator for the “B PINK Project”.  A great  project that will honor BC survivors and raise awareness and funds in our community.
  • I joined the ACS “Cattle Baron’s Committee” which raises funding for Cancer patients and sends kids with cancer to rock camp.
  • September, I got a NEW CAR!!!!
  • In September I was honored as SCCC “Survivor of the Year”.
  • In October I had 12 speaking engagements and “Put on my Pink bra” to Make Strides against breast cancer.  I had a team of 25 walkers for the event and we raised nearly $4000.  With USA giving me a huge donation.
  • In November I asked my love and one of the Strongest men I have ever known to be my husband.  We are getting married this summer 🙂
  • I have had my relationship with a precious child restored.  She was previously my step daughter and I had loved and missed her for nearly 2 years.  Thank you God!!
  • Dr. Guy has done a series of peels and laser on Dec 22nd which has corrected the damage to my skin from my cancer ordeal.
  • I was elected to the Cocoa Beach Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors and was installed last night.
  • I have also had my prayer answered to be on Space Coast Cancer Foundation’s board.  I was asked this week to join the process to join the board.
  • This week, I got the word from my doctor, Dr. Levine that ALL my blood work is completely normal.  No residual weirdness from cancer.
  • I just got my statement from my retirement account and it is nice to be building something there again as well.
  • I am finally getting my old hair back.  Everyday more and more like my old hair 🙂

No matter where I look in my life I see God’s providence and blessing.  So, it is with great joy and anticipation that I enter my 51st year~~  I will NEVER complain about a birthday or growing older.  My Nana turned 94 yesterday and she did it so gracefully and beautifully.  I want to be just like her when I grow up….serving others, still inquisitive, and making new friends and memories!!

Tommy was 1000% CORRECT