This letter was inspired by the website www.fivemoreminuteswith.com and was written July 27,2011.
Five More Minutes for Forgiveness :
This is a letter that has been on my mind for at least the past 18 months. It is an open letter of forgiveness to the man I was married to and ultimately who left me, 2 weeks after my 2nd lumpectomy and 8 weeks after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. If I had 5 minutes of his time today……..this is what I would say.
First and foremost, I forgive you. I have taken a considerable amount of time to examine what happened when we parted and I have forgiven you for it all. I will never think or say what you did was right or even humane but none the less, I forgive you. I know that what you did, you did out of fear. You were afraid of loss……who isn’t? You were afraid of losing our business, and any financial stability you had hoped to have. Without insurance, you were right in assuming the financial burden that was to come, with cancer treatment ,would be immense. It has been.
You were afraid to meet the same cancer demon that had taken your Mother 20 years earlier. Even though it had been over 20 years, the pain of that loss was refreshed by my cancer diagnosis. You did not want to deal with what you knew was to follow: The loss of hair, health, vitality etc. Again you were right, those losses were immense.
Consequently, you shifted all the loss over on to me. I took 100% of the loss. What you did not realize was that by shifting over all the loss, you also shifted over all the blessing brought by the loss. You see you gave me a gift and you steeled within me something I never even knew I possessed. An IRON will to LIVE!!
The intensity of the pain I experienced, through time and forgiveness has become the pure joy, purpose and passion that I now have. It was the excruciating pain that I experienced that gave me the cues and clues to figure out what I wanted the rest of my long life to look like. It was my pain and suffering that became mercy and deep compassion for others.
Understand, I am not being facetious or sarcastic when I say thank you. I am being quite sincere.
I find myself in frequent, fervent prayer for you. God has given me mercy and compassion when I look in your direction. I see that you are no more lost than I was 2 years ago and God has a plan for your healing as well. As always, I pray that his will be completed to perfection in your life.
From Dawn Faust