Posted in bitterness, God, grief, loss

Better or Bitter…………the choice is ours to make.

You have heard it said that into every life a little rain must fall……….so true!!  For some of us at some time, it is a torrential downpour.  Bottom line, no one leaves this life unscathed.  If you are drawing breath, adversity will meet you somewhere along life’s path.

When faced with adversity, what do we do?  Well, initially, we all do the same thing……..we grieve.  We grieve the loss of peace of mind, our footing, the world we knew before “the event”.  It is natural to do this.  No one really immediately rebounds.  It is just like in Monopoly…do not pass go, do not collect $200.  You must pass through the grief to get to the right/ better place.  Let’s just face facts, the grief place SUCKS!!  It feels bad, it LOOKS bad and most of us would just rather skip right to the, I’m OK place.  And some folks do just that, they skip the grief.  I have learned there is much peril in skipping grief stage. Skipping grief is like skipping breakfast, it’s the most import part of adversity.  It is where true strength is found for the days ahead.  It helps us find what is truly valuable and what is important to us.  This is such important information for the future and may give you purpose and passion in days ahead.  It will make your future BETTER!!

Now, as important as this step is…….don’t camp out here.  It is ok to stay for a bit and experience the terrain and fully take everything in.    Too much time spent “the grief spot” could eventually alienate you from others and result in a permanent pity party.  A permanent pity party almost always turns into despair and depression and eventually BITTERNESS.

When you are in the grief place, some people will avoid you like the plague.  They just do not want to spend time in that place with you.  Very often these folks have skipped over their own grief so they sure as heck are not going to hang out in your grief spot.  That is OK, let them pass by, they don’t have anything for you anyway.  God, will send people to help you while in the midst of this terrain, if you ask him to.  God, will answer the prayer of a broken and grieving soul every time they call upon him.  God uses people to minister to us, so don’t be expecting an archangel……lol!  When those people come, lose the pride and self-reliant demon and accept the help that is sent to you.  Help can be very hard for some to accept from others.  Gee, I wonder how I know this………lol?

Now with these supports around and underneath of you, helping and encouraging you, begin to move forward.  Give yourself permission to cry, to speak about the loss, to identify the good, the bad and the ugly.  Get it all out!!  Write if you have to (another one I know about).  It is all cathartic and good for you to do.  Pay someone to hear your stuff if need be……go to a counselor.  Identify what you need in the situation.  If you satisfy your deep needs, your emotions will eventually come under control.

The things that we lose can actually be the key to a much better life.  They can be an opportunity to really get a grip on our core values and what is truly important  If you know what makes you incredibly sad to lose, you will find out what is important for you to have in this life you live.

BETTER or BITTER……………it really is up to you!!


7 thoughts on “Better or Bitter…………the choice is ours to make.

    1. Rose, it is always a great pleasure to spend time in the presence of beautiful and strong women. Thanks for taking the time to read and feel free to share as well.
      God is GOOD Today!!

  1. “When you are in the grief place, some people will avoid you like the plague. They just do not want to spend time in that place with you.” I chuckled when I read this…so true. Also true: We are responsible for our own heart attitudes no matter what happens or how people react to us. It can be difficult to be avoided while in deep grief; but, at some point, we have to forgive…and forgive again, if need be. Good post.

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